why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My pussy is not your playground.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
