An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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