Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
