theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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