He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
