If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
