dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh god the rape fog is back!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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