he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
