I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
