you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
