GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize