Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
