Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Randomize
