would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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