i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
