Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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