No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
