I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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