...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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