i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
