Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
