am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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