she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
