no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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