Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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