just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Boobs speak an international language.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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