Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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