Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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