ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
