I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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