party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
