i don't like sucking hair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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