im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
