Just fell off a train. Bad.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
