what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
