Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
