I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
