I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
