I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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