I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
