Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
