There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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