I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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