The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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