There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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