Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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