Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
