found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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