You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think your dad took our porno
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
