dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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